ENCOURAGMENT: JUST F*CKING START

Truth is most of the time the route you plan to take will not be the road traveled.  When this happens the most important thing you have to remember is that you can still reach your destination. Me? I’m a planner to a fault, I don’t make a move unless I have a solid course of action. The problem I constantly face with that is....I won’t make a move until I’m in a position to do things EXACTLY as I planned and not a moment before...that was my first mistake.

You see, I would make a plan right? And that plan would be to have the best of the best materials that the world has to offer right out of the gate so that I can see top notch results IMMEDIATELY! Without flaw, I don’t want to have to practice, I don’t want to learn. I just want to KNOW and DO.  I want professional grade everything before I even master being a beginner. In the meantime I have no money, no time to really commit to learning how to use anything, I’m working with the lowest of low in my bank account both in fund and time availability and I have a shit load of responsibilities that I am obligated to take care of BEFORE I can even think about taking on more.

EXAMPLE:

After working and becoming depressed at my dead end job I decided that really need to take my future seriously and start to steer in the direction that I want to go in life. My goal was to have a career that I loved while having creative freedom over my life.

So this was the goal

Start a fashion blog

Make a You tube channel

Develop a solid audience/following

Use that platform to promote and advertise my products (Fashion Designs /Styling)

THE GRAND PLAN:

Buy a professional camera: $700

Buy professional editing software: $150$ (monthly)

Buy MAC desktop- $1500

Hire professional photographer for ads $150

Build Blog

Start A YOUTUBE Channel

--->On top of that I wanted to buy EVERYTHING at ONCE not piece by piece I mean really; what’s the point of the Camera if I don’t already own the soft wear? And why start a blog without professional head shots?

Who does that?

(I seriously felt this way guys....sad truth)

And then

BOOM instant success

Right?

WRONG

 See what had happened was ....

The company I worked for closed and we were all laid off....

However because my plan was the ideal situation I had tunnel vision and I couldn’t for the life of me derail from that plan. Everyone was like "Use your web cam, use a point and shoot camera..blah blah blah," and in my mind these suggestions were insulting. I couldn't comprehend how people could suggest that I put all my ideas and genius material out there to be seen by the world utilizing a dusty cyber link web camera when my plan included so much awesome (ness). I mean who did they think I was? Some inexperienced rookie trying to get my feet wet? Just some random girl trying to join this budding group of half wig and make up gurus?

.....I just wish I could go back, grab that RIDICULOUSLY unrealistic me and scream...

YES.

YES!

THAT'S EXACTLY WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE

A BEGINNER

...AND THAT'S OKAY

I was the baby that never even crawled trying to sprint across the damn Internet!!!

I never grasped the fact that my little rinky dink camera would be the start and NOT the end. In my mind I had to do things perfectly or not at all and that mindset has been my down fall my entire life. I never really allow myself to just be a beginner and grow overtime. Once I established plan A that was it, everything else was below me. Now here I am 3 years later still working in the medical field trying to do things differently. And it’s nerve wrecking. Even in this moment, RIGHT NOW typing this, I’m not sure if I should launch this damn site. I mean I know I WANT TO but what if no one absolutely no one likes it? If it doesn’t make a difference in anyone’s life?

These thoughts constantly crowd my head

And when the fear of failure over powers the desire to win

so then I do what most people do...

QUIT

I’ll settle into the boring life as a laboratory assistant for about a year and then I’ll be back here trying to create another damn site.

(The cycle will continue forever)

IF I DON’T DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT NOW.

What I’m saying is...

YOU WILL BE NERVOUS

AND IT WONT BE PERFECT AT FIRST

BUT

SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO JUST FUCKING START

Starting small is WAY MORE BENEFICIAL than not starting at all

. Don’t use your small amount of resources as an excuse to not set the bar high for yourself. 

DO YOUR VERY BEST

With what you have.

There are levels to this shit! 

 I haven’t mastered them all yet  but I have completed level 1:START and for me that’s the hardest part...I don’t know everything but I do know that you won’t get anywhere by staying still. And I’m open and ready to learn everything else.

There’s no better time than NOW!

All you have to do is think of the END RESULT over everything else. All the glitz and glamour will fall in to place after you bust your ass trying to polish what you have to begin with.

NOW

Get your ass in that living room and braid some hair...

Set that sewing machine on the kitchen counter and get to work...

Bake those cupcakes in an easy bake oven... if you have to

........

​​

Borrow your mothers IPhone, bribe your little sister (hey Kleiyah @bishhwht) to take pictures of you...

In your yard ....While you awkwardly try not to look at your neighbor who's staring at you like ... (0_o)

"Why the fuck is she having a photo-shoot with an IPhone?"

 <- #thestruggleisreal

And the design studio, gourmet chef kitchen, beauty salon and EDGExEDGE will be on the

Other side of your determination!!!!

I wish you all the best of luck!!!

Peace and Love
-xoxo Edge